


Lucifer and Michael Discover Tumblr

by ArchDemonLumiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Archangels, Celebrity Crush, Domestic Fluff, Gabriel (Supernatural) is a Little Shit, Implied Relationships, Implied Sabriel, Implied/Referenced Incest, Innuendo, Lucifer is angry at everything, Lucifer is obsessed with the internet, Michael is scarred for life, Michael is slowly driving Lucifer insane, Michael is too innocent for Tumblr, Michifer tag is there in case it turns gay, Or Gabriel's bullshit, Other, Poor Samandriel gets dragged in, Real World References, Tumblr, cake makes everything better, doppelgangers, kind of, pure randomness, shipper Gabriel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-06-01 00:37:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15131255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArchDemonLumiel/pseuds/ArchDemonLumiel
Summary: After they made amends, Lucifer and Michael decided to live together. However the craziness never ends. Especially when Lucifer teaches Michael about computers. But then they are both introduced to the magical world of Tumblr and become both scarred by it and addicted to it. Until they discover the world of shipping. Then the world (or one shipper very close to them) might end up destroyed.





	1. Exploring The Interweb

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, in case anyone remembers about When A Tyrant Becomes Roomies With A Manchild, that story is nearly done and I'm sorry it's become very delayed. A planned 1000 word chapter turned into an over 2000 word thing and it's still not complete... Anyway so here's a stupid idea I came up with, hope you guys enjoy it and don't mind waiting too long for the other two or three chapters, just going with the flow here ^^

Lucifer remembered when he first bought a laptop back when he and Michael had moved into their new house. They had stayed in an apartment for a short time whilst they tried to find more legal ways to make the money for a proper house (Michael’s request) but within a week they had been kicked out by the man in charge after complaints by their neighbours.

These included but were not limited to:

 Domestic violence (of course Lucifer only started these fights because Michael was really fucking annoying)

Noise pollution (Michael decided to see how loud he could make the tv and radio at the same time leaving everyone with popped ear drums)

Secretly owning dogs (Lucifer had in fact made a burglar humiliate himself by crawling on all fours and yelping everywhere)

Having very loud sex (never happened, Gabriel had tried to expose Michael to porn and forgot to turn the volume down).

Anyway the first thing Lucifer had bought when they moved into their new home was a laptop and he had never seen Michael look so confused and fascinated. He had pulled out the smartphone he had stolen off Adam (Adam ended up letting him keep it after getting the puppy eyes) and placed it next to it. And the first thing that had left his mouth was ‘it’s so big!’ Of course he didn’t understand when Gabriel flew in just to say ‘that’s what she said’. His older brother had been amazed by all the things Lucifer could do on his laptop that wasn’t (easily) possible on his phone. He could illegally stream movies on a screen way bigger than the phone’s. He could make himself and Sam on Sims and somehow still fail at seducing him. He could edit photos of Gabriel to turn his hair pink and give him a broom for a moustache.

Lucifer had later regretted teaching Michael how to use Photoshop because he had crafted a blackmail photo with the former devil in a playboy outfit and stilettos.

But what the brothers had discovered together one boring day was a website that combined Heaven and Hell. One that encouraged both sin and virtue.

A website called Tumblr.

 

 

Lucifer was having the time of his life researching how to bypass a restraining order Sam had filed against the now powerless devil whilst Michael had been baking one cake after the other just to keep himself occupied on a rare day where he couldn’t use the puppy eyes his 20 year old vessel could utilise to persuade Adam to keep him company. Lucifer was slowly dying inside because of the lack of fun he was having, and just hoping Michael would somehow accidentally burn his dick off because that would be a fun A and E visit, when he had heard his brother yelping.

Crap, he didn’t really want him to accidentally castrate himself, not before he succeeded in getting him laid. “Are you alright Micky?”

“If I said yes I’d be lying,” a weak pained voice replied from the kitchen and the morning star ditched his hopeless research to check on his hopeless brother. The dark haired man was clutching his bright red hand whimpering, he sighed and gently gripped his wrist to run it under the tap.

“Idiot.” He switched off the oven ignoring the burnt cake inside. There were already 6 cakes on the side so far. “Why so many cakes?”

“Bored… I’ve made one for each person though, I’ve got one for you, Gabe, Raphi, me, Addy, Cassie, the one in the oven is for Sam then I’ll make Dean a pie and…” He trailed off and Lucifer sighed patting his head looking at the cakes. Looked like he had been decorating each cake whilst another cooked. His own cake seemed to be chocolate sponge with buttercream and gold icing with one of his brother’s sappy messages on it. ‘For the most beautiful morning star~’

He kind of wanted to both strangle and hug Michael at the same time. The only other with an equally sappy saying was Adam’s that said ‘For my best best BEST friend~!’ Gabriel’s was decorated with candy, Raphael’s hilariously enough had ninja turtles on it and Castiel’s had a crude drawing of a cat throwing a Molotov. Thankfully when he remembered Castiel had thrown a Molotov at him, after a bit of therapy to pull his scattered mind together, he had decided to see the funny side of it. And the cat had a speech bubble saying ‘To My Favorite Assbutt’.

“Guessing you were going to make Sam’s have a moose on it?” The oldest archangel nodded blissfully and held out the plate with Lucifer’s cake on it.

“Want to eat it now?” He was definitely not refusing delicious cake, even if his bonkers brother made it. He gladly took the cake and glanced at the cake Michael had made for himself. It seemed less jokey than the cakes he had made for his other brothers, with an angelic warrior made of icing topping it. Probably because he couldn’t draw Pokemon from memory yet. His older brother had become a little obsessed with that cartoon over the course of a few weeks.

“Do you miss fighting, Micky?” He stared at him blinking those big green eyes his vessel had. He was created a custom vessel instead of using John Winchester because Sam and Dean would have killed him.

“I don’t know, I liked fighting Auntie Amara and the big bad demons but well… Having to fight you although I didn’t want to wasn’t fun.”

He felt his heart sink a little. Yet Michael had still agreed to fight him to the death back in the cemetery.

“Ugh my hand still hurts…” All the past hate he held towards his brother however had died back in the cage. Exhaling softly he gently kissed each burnt finger like his brother had whenever he had injured his hand whilst training back whilst he was a fledgling. The injured angel flushed in embarrassment and he chuckled.

“Cheer up, how about we search for memes together?” Michael’s eyes lit up and he eagerly nodded. Of all the weird things Lucifer had discovered so far, memes were the best by far.

 

 

As they both ate cakes big enough to feed 12 people, Lucifer scrolled through memes of stoned cats and drunk dogs, Michael giggling at every other meme he clicked on.

“Hey Luci can we get a cat?”

The blond angel paused as he clicked on a meme with a high looking husky. “Didn’t we agree we’d get a husky when we moved here?”

He tilted his head. “I don’t know, I think so…? Can we adopt a cat AND a husky?”

Lucifer snorted. “If we can stop the husky eating the cat, sure.” In response to this Michael nudged him away from the keyboard and he almost dropped the slice of cake he was on. “Rude.” His brother promptly searched ‘husky and kitten’ and several pictures of a kitty snuggling with a big husky popped up.

“Husky doesn’t look like it wants to eat it to me.”

 Lucifer sighed and went on Youtube, searching up a parody of Bad Romance about pants. “Okay, just never adopt a mouse without telling me then.”

Michael watched the following cartoon video about villains trying to steal the hero’s pants, pure confusion etched into his face. “… Luce can I try your pants on?” His younger brother almost choked on his cake before shaking his head in dismay and choosing to ignore him for the time it took to finish that piece.

Soon enough as they watched weird song after weird song, a song that sounded like Gangnam Style but dubbed Tumblr Fandom Style started autoplaying. Having had enough of their cake, they watched a series of hilarious gifs with puzzlement. 

“What’s a Tumblr…?”

“I don’t know…” He did a double take. “Was that Castiel??” They awkwardly looked at each other then continued to watch the video in amazed bafflement.

At the end of the weird song they looked at each other again.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking Michael?”

“We throw eggs at the Winchesters?”

“Where did tha- No…” Lucifer smirked somewhat. “I’m thinking we should check this ‘Tumblr’ out.”


	2. The Wonders Of Tumblr

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer and Michael explore the legendary Tumblr website and stumble across various disturbing images. And Michael's reactions aren't helping Lucifer keep his sanity.

Later that day the brothers were sat on the couch laptop on Lucifer's lap as Michael rested his chin on his shoulder trying to guess what those black dots Lucifer had typed meant. Before they could search up Tumblr, Gabriel had popped in and promptly asked Lucifer to help him find some bastard who had stole all his candy so he had shut his laptop down and Michael decided to go back to cooking cakes. The younger brother had been a bit pissed to come back home to a kitchen full of smoke. After his brother begged like a puppy for long enough though he decided to forgive him just because it was so pathetic. Not because it was cute.

So now they were cuddled together at 8pm staring at the screen about to look up what sounded like the strangest website in existence. One that knew about Castiel and the Winchesters based on a few gifs in that video. Before Lucifer could type in the T in Google however, Michael piped up.

“Hey Luci, its just occurred to me. We've eaten nothing but cake today right?”

“Hmm?”

“So how about we order pizza and take the delivery boy hostage?” Lucifer did a double take and quickly took a reality check. He had been the one to fall because he was 'evil'. Michael had been the goody two shoes that had caged him for being evil. And now his older brother was suggesting abduction.

He smirked. He finally corrupted his brother. “I'm supposed to be Satan right? Sounds like a plan.”

 

Michael promptly phoned up the local pizzeria, mimicking the voice of a teenage girl so his excited tone wouldn't be too suspicious. Lucifer chuckled to himself and searched up Tumblr, being greeted by blue and a menu telling him to sign up. Strange. He tuned into his brother's call randomly. “... And a 12 inch meat pizza please! Send your cutest delivery guy too!” That giggle he made was both adorable and abominable for an archangel of all things to make it. He was wondering why the delivery boy specifically had to be cute (what human was cute?) but it was probably to fit with the teenage girl thing. And pretty boys were easy to abduct too. He soon hung up as Lucifer debated whether to sign up to something he knew nothing about.

“Cute girl's voice.”

“Thanks!” Michael looked at the screen.  So what is it?”

“Tumblr.”

“Tumblr's a blue screen? Boring.”Lucifer shook his head and fidgeted, a search box popped up.

“So do you want to wait for pizza before we do this?” Michael shook his head and Lucifer typed in the first thing he could think of. His own name. Loads of posts with gifs of himself (and of Lucifer from the FOX show but Lucifer said fuck you to that poser) filled the screen. “... Holy fuck I have a stalker.” Michael giggled and read one of the posts.

“ 'I'd worship Satan any day', heart sign. You have fangirls, Luci!”

“Shut up.” He cleared the field. So Tumblr looked like Google but blue and full of stalkers. Most of the posts were tagged with 'Supernatural'. Oh right, that was the book series their Father had been working on. So he typed Supernatural followed by Michael. Said angel squealed and hid his face in the crook of his younger brother's neck as alternate universe Michael popped up every few posts.

“Evil me! Get him off, get him off, get him off!”

Lucifer sighed and clicked the back button. Ah right, his brother had a bit of a traumatic experience when he met his evil counterpart. “There, evil Micky is gone.” He patted his head poking his pale cheek. “Are you alright there Micky?” He gave a shaky nod and the blond angel typed cats in the search bar. The overload of cuteness and hilarity had the smaller angel squealing and Lucifer tried to understand what exactly Tumblr was. So far he got it was like a cross between Google and Facebook, was full of stalkers and everything had tags.

“Aww look at that wrecking ball cat! It looks so confused!” Michael paused and typed in the bar 'Cat Castiel’. Tons of pictures of Castiel holding kitties appeared. Guess Castiel had a stalker too. “So cute! I didn't know Cassie had cats!”

“I didn't either,” Lucifer mumbled as he noticed most of the images were tagged with 'Misha Collins'. He clicked the tag and a lot of pictures of a man that looked like Cas but wasn't wearing his trenchcoat appeared. “Well, looks like Cas has a doppelganger.”

“He's cute!” Lucifer stared at Michael. “What?”

“Did you just call our brother's doppelganger...?” He shook his head raising an eyebrow as he noticed 'Misha' posing with a man that looked like his current now permanent vessel. “Maybe our vessels have twins...” He clicked on a tag 'Mark Pellegrino’ and lots of pictures of himself popped up. “Okay then... This must be a secret brother of Nick.”

“Wow he's kinda hot...” Lucifer stared at Michael again. “What?”

“He's like 50.”

Michael tilted his head.

“He looks exactly like me.”

That confused look didn't go.

“You're saying a man who looks like your brother is hot.”

“So?”

Lucifer stared at him then shook his head mumbling. “Dude, could you be more gay...?”

Michael went silent.

“Don't answer that.”

The awkward silence continued as they tried to think what else to search. Michael decided to search 'Dean Winchester' and some confusing images popped up. “Is that Dean... And Castiel...” Lucifer looked from messaging Gabriel to see a very detailed drawing of Castiel kneeling before Dean and...

“Oh my Father.” They stared awkwardly at each other. “Should we send this to Cas to embarrass him?” Michael nodded and Lucifer saved the drawing to send to Castiel on messenger. Seconds later they got a response.

'Oh my dAD WHAT THE HELL?!'

'Why so surprised?’ Lucifer messaged. 'You do that every day’

'Screw off assbutt.’

Then they heard a ring. “Pizza already? That was conveniently fast.” Michael paused. “So how we going kidnap him?”

“Just invite him in saying you have no money and ask about other 'payment methods',” Lucifer mumbled and clearly not understanding him he nodded and went off.

 

Shortly he heard his older brother squealing. “Eeee hi Samandriel!”

Well, at least they got a cute delivery boy. Lucifer abandoned Tumblr to find his brother glomping their confused younger brother. “Oh hi Samandriel.” He looked at his name tag. “Alfie? So the first thing you do when Father resurrects you is join the fast food industry again.”

He awkwardly nodded looking at his scarily affectionate brother. “What happened to Michael?”

“The cage happened, don't worry he does that to everyone.” Lucifer wondered if kidnapping was still a plan. “Hey we found something weird on the internet, want to see?”

The younger angel looked wary. “Well uh I really need to get back to-” He squeaked as Michael dragged him in. “O-Okay!”

 

Samandriel stared at the porny fanart of Dean and Castiel. “Uh... Is this what you wanted to show me?”

“Of course not. Michael type in... What's his face.” The dark haired archangel tilted his head. “The hot guy.”

He nodded and typed in Mark Pellegrino. The delivery boy stared at the screen confused. “Is that you Lucifer?”

“Nope, Castiel and me seem to have doppelgangers. Any idea who this is?”

“Not really...” Samandriel looked at the search bar and typed his name in. A lot of pictures of him appeared. “... Holy heck I have a stalker.” He scrolled through then turned red. The archangels looked at each other then at the screen to see a picture of him kissing Adam.

“Do you even know Adam?”

“Umm yeah Castiel introduced us...”

Michael looked at the username. “So someone's pairing people?” The username was 'candyXXXman’. “Who names their child that?”

“Michael, how many times do I need to explain usernames to you? It's not their real name.” Lucifer clicked on it and was greeted with the older Dean x Cas picture in the recommendations. “They drew that too it seems.” The other recommended picture looked suspiciously like Sam and Gabriel making out and Lucifer would have started fuming from the ears if life had been a cartoon. “Our moron of a brother is never seducing my vessel.”

“Jealous much?” Samandriel mumbled as he got his notepad out. “Well this was $30, please don't delay me any longer.”

Lucifer and Michael looked at each other. Then Lucifer hit the cutest angel in Heaven over the head with a dictionary.

 

Samandriel woke up behind the trash cans of his workplace with no idea what had happened but with a strong urge to make himself a Tumblr account and post fanart of his oldest two brothers for revenge of something he couldn't remember.


	3. The Shipper Of Not So Brotherly Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which things get very uncomfortable for Lucifer and Michael after discovering a little something called Michifer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This got a bit long but impossible to split into two chapters that weren't ridiculously irregular. Anyway this should be the second to last chapter if things don't get out of control ^^

The first thing Lucifer did when he got back from work (yes Satan worked and yes he hated it and the arrogant prick who was his ‘boss’) was get back on his laptop and continue his research. No, not the research about the restraining order. He hadn’t given up but something had annoyed him since his and his brother’s exploration of Tumblr. Who the fuck was Mark Pellegrino and why was his brother on his laptop at 6am that morning looking dreamily at pictures of him. Also how the fuck Michael guessed his password because not even Gabriel managed to figure it out.

Lucifer had spent the next few hours before work casually kink-shaming his brother before deciding he needed to know who this doppelganger was. And also who Misha Collins was. And if Sam had a doppelganger who was single. He had found out Mark Pellegrino was an actor just before Michael reminded him he had work. And he couldn’t be late again because his boss would fire him. That wouldn’t be a problem if Michael could stop screwing up his interviews. Before the cage happened, his brother had been the serious hardworking one. Now he was laidback, obsessed with cooking and talked way too much for any potential employers not to get pissed at him.

 

As he changed his password so he wouldn’t catch his brother fawning over his doppelganger anymore, he heard mumbling and hushed laughter from the kitchen. Michael probably invited Adam over as usual. Then as Lucifer leaned back in his chair the leg snapped and the laughter exploded as he hit the floor.

“Told you he’d fall for it!” The former devil rubbed his head and turned to glare at Gabriel and Michael who were both in hysterics.

“Gabe you jerk! Mike, I thought I told you not to let him in when I’m not!”

“Well last time you got him to put ketchup in my bed, its just payback!”

Gabriel skipped over and glanced at his desktop screen then sighed. “Please tell me that’s Jared Padalecki you’re fawning over and not Sam.”

Lucifer tilted his head. “Jared Para-who?”

Michael googled his name and grinned. “Oh that’s Sam’s doppelganger! Oh look Dean has one too, Jensen Acels…?”

Gabriel facepalmed. “It’s Ackles you idiot. They’re not doppelgangers, they’re actors who look a lot like Sam and Dean for the tv adaptation of Dad’s Supernatural series.” He typed Richard Speight Jr into Google and a man who looked a lot like Gabriel appeared. “See, says here he plays as me. I thought Dad told you two about this. You’ve not been mistakenly called Mark before Lucifer?”

Lucifer shook his head frowning. “Oh so all those photos of me on Tumblr were of him then. Phew, I don’t have a stalker. Just a guy who looks a lot like me because of a tv show. Hey is Jared sin-”

“Married to Ruby’s actor, you have no chance.”

“Damn it.”

Michael looked at Gabriel. “Both Jensen and Adam’s actor Jake are married too.”

“Oh Adam has a doppel- uh, actor, too? Cool. No I was asking if I had any doppel-actors.”

Gabriel showed him Jake Abel. “Well this guy plays as you too, as Adam was your vessel. Also there’s young John Winchester’s actor, Matt Cohen. Not sure about your evil counterpart yet because they haven’t got that far yet.”

Michael googled Matt Cohen then stared. Lucifer stared at his brother and shook his head. “Please don’t tell me you are now attracted to the actor that plays as you. That’d be even weirder than… No I think your sudden crush on MY actor is creepier probably.”

Gabriel raised an eyebrow. “Do I want to know?”

“Probably not.” Lucifer actually looked at Matt Cohen’s pictures then gaped. “Wow he’s pretty ripped, is he taken too?”

The Trickster shook his head and left before he had to witness any more weirdness.

 

After solving the mystery of the doppelgangers, Lucifer and Michael went back on Tumblr that night casually looking at the actors that played them.

“How do you reckon they got actors that look almost exactly like our vessels?”

“How do they know what they look like in the first place?” Michael looked suspiciously at Matt Cohen. “Is he secretly related to the Winchesters? He looks so much like John it’s scary.” Lucifer shook his head pretending to look for the resemblance but secretly checking him out. If his brother could go fanboying over an actor that looked exactly like him, his old vessel was fair game. Though Michael did look like a younger shorter Matt Cohen… He quickly got that thought out of his head. Damn Gabriel telling them the truth. Now he was just as bad as his older brother.

“Photos are a thing. The agency probably hired actors that looked most like their ideal.” Michael nodded in understanding and stared at the screen then clicked the search bar. Lucifer tilted his head as he searched ‘Destiel’. “What the hell is a destiel?” He got his answer when thousands of pictures of Dean and Castiel kissing with the occasional wall of text appeared. “Ah right, the weird pairings. How do all these people know Cas and Dean have a thing for each other though?”

“I don’t think they do um…” Michael pointed at a photoshopped kiss with the caption ‘Dean and Cas need to become a canon couple already!’ “They seem to just be obsessing over two people’s love lives.” He paused and typed in ‘Sabriel’.

“Uh Mike I think you misspelt Gabriel.” Lucifer stared at all the fanart of Sam and Gabriel in a lovey dovey relationship. “… Okay how the hell do you know what to search?”

“Asked Adam about the picture we saw with him and Samandriel in it. Apparently Supernatural has a big ‘shipping fandom’. So he told me to search ‘Destiel’, ‘Sabriel’, something called ‘Crobby’ and Samandriel told me to search something called Mikifer. I think. He didn’t tell me how to spell it.”

Next he typed in Crobby and Lucifer saw Bobby and Crowley, who were both very much alive, kissing. “… Guess smug bastards need love too. Wait so it’s been Destiel… DEan and CaSTIEL… Sabriel… SAm and GaBRIEL…. Crobby… CROwley and BoBBY…” He tilted his head. “What’s Mikifer?” Michael shrugged and typed it in.

Despite it being spelt wrong, the pair were still attacked by several Michifer posts, the pictures not as plentiful and not as pornographic (thankfully) as Destiel’s results but the brothers still felt pain in their chest at the fluffier more angsty pics. Then noticed the more romantic clearly less brotherly posts and stared at each other flustered.

“Michifer… MICHael and LucIFER… SERIOUSLY?! Are these people insane?” As Lucifer ranted, Michael looked at the usernames.

“Oh most of these are done by that candyman guy!”

Lucifer glared at the screen flipping Tumblr off. “You mean that guy that drew Castiel giving Dean a ‘good time’?” His brother nodded and he growled. “I wish you could murder people over the internet. Oh wait, maybe we can find out where he lives through his Tumblr. Click his name.”

Michael nodded and clicked the name on a more ambiguous fan art they couldn’t tell if it was shippy or not that they probably wouldn’t be bothered seeing for a few seconds whilst they looked for clues. Then he accidentally looked at the recommendations and turned redder than Lucifer thought possible before nearly throwing him the laptop and taking off.

“W-Where the hell are you going?”

“To my room until you’re done, I’m not risking seeing anything else like that!”

He heard him thud upstairs and sighed. “Drama queen!”

Then he looked at the picture Michael had seen and felt his vessel overheat. He was going to kill this guy when they found him. As he scanned the webpage and noticed a link that said ‘about me’, he sighed.

“Well, at least this idiot realises I’m a top.”

 

An hour later Lucifer started making connections. The about page said nothing about names but said he lived in their area.  The tone was very playful and he labelled Sabriel as his OTP, which Michael had looked up and found to mean his most favourite pairing. Samifer, which Lucifer found was himself and Sam, was listed as his NOTP which Michael said meant he absolutely despised it. Then Lucifer realised his name was ‘candyXXXman’ and it became so obvious.

“THAT FU- IT’S GABRIEL!” Michael had fell off the sofa at Lucifer’s exclamation and stared up at him alarmed quickly scrambling back up. The former devil had almost slapped him when he tried to use his thigh as leverage. He wasn’t getting that image out of his head any time soon.

“Gabe? No, why would our brother do… THAT?” He pointed at the fan art of him kissing his favourite brother that had popped up in the recommendations of a Destiel pic and Lucifer shrugged.

“To piss us off? Surely he’s not that… No wait, I can totally see him shipping incest. Not like he knew we’d find it…”

“We can’t just go beating him up though unless we know it’s him though.” Michael leaned closer and his younger brother lightly pushed him away. “Hey what gives?”

“Nothing.” He wasn’t telling him he was getting flashbacks. “You found out Adam had a Tumblr account right? See if he knows if Gabriel has an account, they follow each other on Facebook and Twitter for each other’s bullshit, why not Tumblr?”

His older brother nodded and swiped his phone running upstairs.

Now they waited.

 

“Luce~!” Lucifer looked up from his ‘research’ (read: looking at fanfic because Destiel had him curious) as Michael ran over grinning.

“This better be news this time and not you fawning over baby birds again.”

“I can’t help it, Adam has so many cute pictures of them on his Tumblr!” Thankfully his friend didn’t have any shipping artwork or much of anything Supernatural related. He seemed to use it for his photography and bragging about his social life. Lucifer had looked at some pictures he took of their ‘friendship group’ though and the comments were full of Supernatural.

‘Your gay friends look like Dean and Castiel! So cute!’

‘Your bf looks so much like Mikey!’ That comment had been corrected by Adam saying Michael had as much interest in dating as Lucifer had interest in being nice.

‘OMG the Sam look-a-like has such great hair! Ask him how he does it!’

Lucifer had soon found a picture of himself and Michael that Adam had forced them into. The comments on that were a bit mindblowing.

‘Aww why do they have to be brothers? They look so cute together!’

‘Luci’s smiling and it doesn’t look evil!’ Adam had replied to that saying Lucifer had proceeded to lock him out of his own house.

‘Are these cosplayers brothers IRL? If not I’ll pay $50 for them to kiss!’

“These fangirls are crazy,” Michael had chirped before going back to waiting for Adam to help them.

 

Thankfully he did help them. “So what did he say?”

“Gabriel’s Tumblr IS candyXXXman!” Lucifer was both relieved they finally knew the truth and pissed that their younger brother would dare do this.

“Well what you know, Adam is useful sometimes.”

“Yep, I just had to answer a quick question and he told me~”

Lucifer started planning how to get back at Gabriel for this. “What did he say, if you’re single?”

“Nope, he asked between you and me who’s top and who’s bottom.”

Lucifer choked on nothing. “WHAT?!”

Michael shrugged. “Yeah I thought it was a bit random too.”

“Rand- What the heck did you answer?”

“Bottom of course, you’d never let me have the top bunk.”

Lucifer blinked then brought his hand to his face. “Mikey I don’t think he meant that.”

Michael tilted his head. “What did he mean then?”

He fought with himself over what to do. Tell him and ruin the innocence Gabriel hadn’t? Or don’t tell him and hope Adam doesn’t think something weird about their relationship. He sighed and shook his head. “Forget it. I’ve got an idea.”

“Yeah Luci?”

The morning star smirked. “Let’s prank Gabriel so bad he’ll feel the beating next week.”


	4. Tumblr, Scheming Angels and Catfish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the archangel brothers lure their younger brother into their trap in a very questionable way. And their idiot of a brother falls for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's taking a little longer than expected to finish the story so I'm splitting the final chapter into two halves :P The next half might be done in the next few days though. So this is a shorter chapter as a result but it gives something to read XD

The next day, Lucifer was sat on his laptop after work waiting for his brother to come back from Adam’s. He had no idea why the oldest of his brothers befriended a much younger but more stubborn and kind of arrogant human but he visited almost daily, and Adam usually came over instead when he didn’t. Anyway, for their plan they had decided to set up a Tumblr account. Michael had said reblogging a load of supernatural blogs would make it seem more authentic so he now had a dashboard full of reaction blogs and Destiel. As well as a ship he found called Midam to piss Michael off a little.

“Luci I’m home~!” As soon as he heard that, he turned his head just to recoil when his older brother appeared way too close to his face.

“Don’t do that!”

“Wow he almost dropped the laptop.”  Lucifer turned his head to see Adam leaning against the doorframe, snapping a picture of the brothers. “Andddd that’s going on my blog.”

He sent the human a suspicious look. “Mike why is he here?”

“He wants to help with our plan. And I forgot to bring his cake. Oh yeah I made you one too!” As Michael ran into the kitchen Lucifer walked up to Adam staring menacingly into his eyes. Adam stared back completely uncaring. He wished he could fling him across the room.

“So. Adam. Why did you ask Michael who of us was top and who was bottom?”

Adam shrugged. “Samandriel wanted to know, that’s all.”

The angel tilted his head. “Why’s that?”

“Nothing important, he just wanted to…” Adam’s phone went off and he checked it, blushing for a moment then sniggering. “Oh he’s done already.”

“Done what?” Adam showed Lucifer the screen.

 

Michael walked into the room humming and balancing plates. “Back~” He blinked as he watched his younger brother chase his best friend around the room. “Oh are we playing tag?”

 

Soon the three were on the couch, Lucifer trying not to yell at his brother about personal space. Those images would haunt him for a long time. And because Adam decided to sit next to Michael and the couch wasn’t the biggest thing, his brother was practically hugging him. He’d have to ban Adam from the house. And maybe track down and kill Samandriel. When he had almost got the image from last night out of his head…

“Michael stop humming.”

“Why?” he had asked almost childishly as he continued humming the tune of some song Adam had played that seemed to be about making a deal with the devil. Adam had snarked that it was their song and Lucifer would have bashed him with the nearest blunt object if Michael hadn’t asked about their plan.

“Because it’s annoying.”

“Can I sing then? ‘Hey, what do you want me to say? Give you everything you want now give me-‘”

“STOP.” Lucifer hated it when Adam introduced him to weird songs. He had only just got him to stop singing a very sexual sounding song about joysticks and ‘Michael’, which was apparently his theme song. And very funny but very annoying. His singing was even more annoying when he kept skipping or completely forgetting lines. “Okay, so you remember the plan right?”

“Uh huh! Did you reblog a lot like I said you should?”

“Yep.” He showed him the dashboard and he frowned.

“Uh… Hey Addy, doesn’t that look like you?”

Adam raised an eyebrow then looked at the image he was pointing at. He immediately went red and facepalmed. “Fuck you, Lucifer.”

Lucifer pretended to be surprised as he looked at the image. “Oh my, wonder how that got there. Wonder what that ship’s called.”

“It says in the tags,” Michael mumbled glaring at them with a pout on his face. “I don’t think I’m ever joining Tumblr like you Ad… Too many weird pics… Hey Luci what did you name the account?”

Lucifer pointed at the header with a grin. “‘GabrielsFanGirl666’. Thought it’d be the least suspicious.” Michael giggled and Adam sighed.

“Very un-suspicious. Does the punishment really fit the crime though? It’s just shipping, it’s harmless.”

The brothers gave him blank looks. “He’s shipping his brothers together. Have you seen half the stuff he’s drawn?” Lucifer grumbled and Michael scrolled down the dashboard blushing as a very NSFW Michifer pic posted by said person popped up.

“See? I don’t even know how to do that!”

Adam tilted his head. “But Mikey what about the pics where you two are just cuddly or kissing? No clothes off?”

The oldest archangel paused. “… Those aren’t bad, sex is icky though.” Lucifer stared at him. “But shipping your brothers is icky too.” Lucifer continued to stare. “Do I have something on my face?”

“Did you just say sex was icky? What are you, five?”

“No I’m five million. I think. Not sure, just know it has a 5 in it.”

He was about to respond then shook his head turning back to the computer. “Okay so part 1 of our plan. Message him pretending to be a teenage fangirl. Michael, you’re best at this. How do I type like a hormonal teenage girl?”

“Use smilies, sound cheerful, a few love hearts and end some sentences with the wavy things~!”

Lucifer started typing.

 

‘Heyyy I love your blog~! :3’

“Like that?” His older brother nodded and Adam pointed at the green circle next to Gabriel’s avatar.

“That means he’s online, he’ll reply soon.”

They swiftly got a message. ‘Thanks, great name by the way ;P’

Adam tried not to cringe. “I forgot to mention how narcissistic he is online didn’t I?”

“He’s like that offline.”

Lucifer typed. ‘I just lovvveee Gabriel so much, it’s so sad he’s dead </3’

‘Maybe he’s not dead as you think? ;)’

Yes but Gabriel would be dead when they found him.

‘By the way my friend says you’re Richard Speight, is that true? Do you love candy like Gabriel?’

‘Maybe I am, maybe I’m not :P I love candy though, I’d fight Satan for a year’s worth.’

Lucifer and Michael gave each other mischievous looks. ‘If you are him, I’d really love if I could meet you <3’

Adam facepalmed. “This will never work, Gabriel’s not stupid enough to meet some possible psycho is he?”

“We’re angels, he’d do it out of pure curiosity and kill if things go wrong.”

 A message popped up. ‘I’m not sure about that, I’m currently staying in the middle of nowhere ^^’

‘Yeah your Tumblr says so, I live in the same area though! Maybe we could meet at a café, I have loads of sweets if you want them~!’

Lucifer knew that would do it.

‘Ooh that sounds tempting, I’ll think about it.’

Think about it? Not quite what they wanted. Then Michael nudged Lucifer’s hand away from the keyboard. “I got it!”

‘Maybe you could sign my tits too <3 <3 <3’

‘Sounds fun, hoping you’re not 14 ;)’

Lucifer and Adam stared at Michael.

‘Oh I’m much older than that~’ Lucifer had no idea where that picture of a half-dressed young woman his older brother sent to his younger brother came from. Maybe he downloaded it specifically for this, it wasn’t like he liked girls. ‘Like it? ;3’

‘Yeah I do~ Would tomorrow noon at Café Petit work?’

‘Yep, I’ll bring loads of candy~ See ya~’

‘Bye~’

 

Gabriel went offline and Michael smiled innocently. “There, done.”  The other two stared at him and he tilted his head. “What?”

“Did you… Just flirt with our younger brother?” Lucifer mumbled awkwardly and if life was a cartoon Adam would have had a huge sweatdrop on his head.

“That’s… Very weird, Mike.”

“What? It worked. We all know Gabe loves candy and,” he pulled a slight face, “you know, sex.”

Adam frowned. “How did you even learn to do that? Flirt I mean.”

“Oh, I went out for pie with Cas and Dean the other day and Dean spent the whole time flirting with a waitress. She was ridiculously cheerful and like most guys with a high sex drive he wouldn’t stop staring at her cleavage. It made us a bit uncomfortable but I think I know how humans court now.”

His younger brother snorted. “No Micha, that’s how humans hook up with one night stands.”

“Then how do they court?” Michael asked, forever the oblivious and ignorant one.

“Mostly crappy pick-up lines.” Lucifer snickered. “Hey how about I show you how Castiel flirts?”  His brother nodded and he tilted his chin up to make eye contact. Because Castiel is well known for eye sex. Adam subtly took his phone out to capture the shippy looking moment for Samandriel. Then Lucifer said completely seriously. “If you were a potato… You’d be a cute potato.”

And all three of them lost their shit.


End file.
